Never Have I Ever
by whitetiger91
Summary: Percy brings Audrey to the Burrow to meet his family, but will all go as planned?


_**A/N: This story was written for The Houses Competition, Year 2, Round 4.**_

 _ **House: Gryffindor**_

 _ **Year: 3**_

 _ **Category: Themed—One Big Happy Family**_

 _ **Prompts:** **2.** **[Speech] "Well, you are certainly nothing like your mother/father," 7. [Object] Cookies, 9. [Event] a Proposal, 10. [Word] refusing.** **If we only get one marked, my main prompt is, of course, the [Event] a Proposal.** _

_**Word count: 4036 words (according to Google docs and wordcounterdotnet)**_

 ** _Thank you to my beta, CK (Theoretical-Optimist), and to Tsu (Kurotsuba) and Shiba (Shibalyfe) for helping. Thank you, too, to everyone who reads this. I know some may groan that I used the Weasley family (they are the first big, happy family that do come to mind for most people), but I really wanted to explore Percy and keep the Weasley theme that my short had. There is some brief mention of nudity, but nothing descriptive or explicit (more implied). I hope you like this take on the event :)_**

* * *

 **Never Have I Ever**

"Will you stop fidgeting? You look fine."

Percy dropped his hands from his tie and gave Audrey a half smile. "Shouldn't I be the one telling you that?"

The brunette shook her head and smiled. "I've been looking forward to meeting your family—all of them—for the last year and a half now."

"Well, you look beautiful, anyway." He adjusted his tie again and knocked on the front door of the Burrow.

He refrained from telling her that she really should've been nervous. She had met his father and Ron before, yes, but that was when they were at work and acting professionally. Here at the Burrow in their own comfortable, mismatched environment, he was sure they would be prone to letting their guard down.

When his mother opened the door with her food-stained apron still on and some sort of mixture smeared across her rosy cheeks, he confirmed as much.

"Welcome dears!" she said, rubbing her cheek with the edge of the apron. Her cheeks grew a deeper shade of red, and she hastily hid the wooden spoon in her other hand behind her back. "Oh, I do apologise for my appearance. I had been keeping an eye on the clock but, well, I got a bit carried away."

With the very same grace that had made him fall in love with her in the first place, Audrey smiled at his mother and stuck out her hand. "No need to be sorry; whatever you're cooking up in there smells absolutely delicious."

His mother beamed at her and, before Percy could protest, she wrapped her up in a hug. "Oh, you must be Audrey; lovely to meet you, dear."

"Er, Mum?"

Audrey was still smiling when she was released, and his mother ushered them inside. "Come on in and welcome to the Burrow. Dinner will be served soon, so please, make yourself comfortable," she said. When she saw Percy, she gave him a kiss on the cheek and winked. "I tidied up for you, dear."

Percy nodded as she closed the door behind them. He had already warned Audrey that his childhood home was more quaint and cosy than the larger houses she was used to. When he looked around the tiny living room, however, he was pleasantly surprised to see that the house was spotless. All the cloaks were hung neatly on the rack, his father's Muggle car magazines were stacked neatly underneath the coffee table, and his mother's endless piles of knitting were packed away somewhere. There wasn't even a single cat hair on the worn sofas, to which Percy sighed in relief.

"May I take your coat?" he asked his girlfriend.

"No, allow me."

Turning to the living room, Percy saw his brother, George, leaning up against the door frame. Just as he had promised, the boy was wearing a nice set of robes, and his shirt was tucked in.

Audrey giggled as George took her cloak and hung it up. "I'm Percy's favourite brother," he said, taking her hand and pressing a chaste kiss upon it.

Percy rolled his eyes. "Audrey, this is George," he said. "And this is his—"

His mouth went dry, and he swallowed. Not introducing George as a twin was something he still had to work on. Thankfully, it seemed he had chosen a girlfriend who was not only beautiful but who also had great tact.

"I'm delighted to finally meet you," Audrey said, stepping forward.

George winked at her. "I'm also the most handsome one."

"Oi! Speak for yourself," Ron said from the living room entrance.

Percy turned to the doorway as the rest of the family trickled in. Ron waved at Audrey, who dipped her head in acknowledgement, as did Hermione, who worked in the same Ministry department as the brunette. Charlie and Ginny were right behind them, identical grins on their faces, and his father emerged from behind a copy of _The Daily Prophet_ on one of the far sofas.

"Welcome, Audrey," he said, standing up and extending his hand.

As Audrey took it, Percy looked around at the motley crew. "Audrey, you've already met Dad, Hermione and Ronald. This is my older brother, Charlie, and my younger sister, Ginevra."

"Call me Ginny."

"I'm afraid Bill and his wife, Fleur, couldn't make it, nor could Ginny's boyfriend, Harry," Percy said.

He had been secretly hoping that the three of them could have been there. Although he considered Hermione an ally when it came to maturity, both Bill and Fleur also knew how to hold an appropriate dinner conversation. Harry, too, could always be counted upon to give recounts of his life. It wasn't that his family were boring—they were quite the opposite, really—but he was sure Harry's tales of the war would impress Audrey. As it were, Bill and Fleur were taking advantage of Gabriella's visit to England and had her babysitting their little girl, Victoire, and Harry was stuck in his Auror office.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all," Audrey said, acknowledging each of them.

At that moment, his mother announced that dinner was ready, and everyone's eyes lit up. Audrey took the cue to follow the rest of them into the kitchen. Percy held back for a moment, though, tapping the box in the pocket of his trousers. He prayed that his family would act civil so that he and Audrey could get through the night unscathed.

When he heard his girlfriend squeal from the next room, he let go of the box and ran into the kitchen.

"What did Geor—"

"My mother had the exact same plates! Oh, I hated that she threw hers out; I've never been able to get the same for my own place," Audrey was saying, her hazel eyes wide as she examined his mother's finest dinnerware—the set she usually reserved for formal occasions.

His mother looked just as excited as Aubrey, grinning from ear to ear. "My mother bought these for me on my wedding day," she said, gesturing for her to sit down.

Percy sighed and calmed his frantic heart. Walking over to Aubrey, he tucked her chair in for her before sitting down himself. Looking up, he saw Hermione shooting Ron a glare for not having done the same for her.

"I hope everyone is hungry because I've made extra," his mother said. Waving her wand, various trays of chicken, lamb, mashed potatoes, beans, and corn found their places in the centre of the table. "Dig in, everyone!"

He let out another sigh as he watched his family let Audrey help herself first, followed by the other females.

"This looks wonderful," Audrey said, taking a large helping.

"Yeah, Mum, this is terrific!" Charlie echoed, his eyes going wide as he looked around at the different options.

Percy settled down in his seat as the chatter began. He took a bite of his mother's roast lamb, savouring the taste. It had been a long time since he had had a proper, home-made meal. Each bite was like tasting Heaven, and he made a mental note to make family meals a regular occasion. Neither he nor Audrey could cook, let alone held any interest in learning how to. If all went well that evening, they would never need to as the pair of them could visit once a week.

Audrey seemed to be having a wonderful time. Percy watched as she dutifully answered each question his family threw at her, her tinkling giggles mixing in well with the others' raucous laughter. She didn't appear to be faking it, either. When Charlie told an obscene joke about dragons and their mating habits, her eyes had filled with tears as she tried to choke back her amusement.

Scooping up a final lump of mashed potato with his fork, Percy smiled at Audrey. She was perfect, absolutely perfect—especially if she could put up with the chaos of the Weasley household. He found his hand trailing back down to his pocket, his heart swelling with pride.

"Well, that was delicious," his father said, smacking his lips. "You have truly outdone yourself this time, Mollywobbles."

His mother blushed and whacked her husband on the forearm. "Not in front of guests," she whispered.

Audrey dabbed at her lips with a napkin, pretending not to hear the comment. Percy swallowed his potato and put his own cutlery down. Looking at the clock on the wall, he saw that it was eight o'clock. It wasn't too early to be considered rude to excuse themselves. They had had fun, and now they could leave before something went wrong.

He stood up and smiled at his parents. "Thank you, Mum, Dad, for the scrumpt—"

"I've got an idea," George interrupted, putting down his own fork and standing. There was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, and Percy found himself sinking back down in his chair. "How about we play a game in the living room?"

"That's a wonderful idea," his mother said, clapping her hands together.

Percy groaned. He racked his mind for an excuse to leave, not trusting the smirk on George's face. None came, however, and as the traitors he called his brothers and sister all nodded, he took a deep breath.

"Actually—"

"That sounds quite fun!" Audrey said, scraping back her own chair. "What game?"

George winked at him before turning his grin to Audrey. "How does 'Never Have I Ever' sound?"

His girlfriend nodded and, after checking with his mother to see if she needed help washing up, took the arm George offered her. Percy watched as he led her into the living room, with the rest of the family following close behind. Only his mother remained in the kitchen, bent over the oven.

"Are you sure you don't need any help, Mum?" he asked, praying she would say yes.

He watched as she pulled out a tray of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Placing it on the counter to cool down, she smiled and waved him off.

"No, no, dear; I'll take care of this later. We'll go and have some fun now," she said. "It was very thoughtful of you and Audrey to ask, though," she added, beaming.

Percy shuffled on the spot, not quite able to meet her eyes. "Yes, she is. I was just wondering if, er, this game was such a good idea? Just because, well…"

When he looked up from his shoes, he saw that his mother was still smiling. Her eyes were soft as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You have nothing to worry about. I made your siblings—and your father for that matter—promise they'd be on their best behaviour and not embarrass you tonight," she said.

Shaking his head, he patted her hand. "I'm not embarrassed by my family. It's just, er, you see…"

His other hand found its way back to his pocket, and he swallowed. Could he tell his mother of his plans? They had made up in the two years after the war, but there was always that lingering feeling that they'd never be as close as they once were. Did she know that he was using tonight as a test to see if his girlfriend and family were a good match?

His mother nodded. "It's alright, Percy. From what I have seen, Audrey is a wonderful girl. You just need to trust in yourself." Taking off her Puffskein-shaped oven mitts, she nodded towards the living room. "Let's not keep them waiting. You never know, you might even find yourself having some fun."

"Yeah, maybe," he said, plastering a smile on his face.

* * *

"Alright, my turn," Charlie said, looking around the room. "Never have I ever… received a detention."

Percy smiled as he kept the point. In all of his years at Hogwarts, he was proud to say that he had never received a detention, nor been docked any house points for that matter. Glancing over at Audrey's parchment, he was pleased—but not surprised—to see that she hadn't lost a point, either. They both understood the importance of rules, and as the game had progressed, that fact had made staying on top of the leaderboard much easier.

"Oh c'mon, George, you have to lose a point! You've had more detentions than the lot of us combined," Ginny said.

George's eyes widened and he crossed his arms. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

He raised his arms to cover his face as several pieces of crumpled paper flew towards him. Although he didn't throw a piece of parchment, Percy found himself laughing along with the rest of his family. It was good to see that George was back to his usual joking self; he hadn't realised how much he missed that side of him until now.

"Alright, alright, my turn," his mother said, holding up her hands. She then looked at his father and smirked. "Never have I ever been fascinated by Muggle objects."

His father rolled his eyes and crossed out a point. "That's not fair."

"It's the game," she said, her brown eyes twinkling.

"No, that's boring," George said, recovering from the parchment attack. He looked each of them in the eye before saying, "Never have I ever snuck out of my dorm to 'snog' another student."

As more crumpled balls of parchment flew at George, Percy groaned and left his quill untouched. Of course his brother would ask something like that—no, of course he would _do_ something like that. When he had been dating Penelope, Percy had made sure that their relationship didn't affect their work ethic; that included taking breaks during their exams and only ever meeting before the curfew was up. Perhaps if more students had taken such precautions in their relationships, they would have achieved better results.

Looking around the small living room, he was happy to see that neither Ron nor Hermione had lost a point. As much as he loved his brother, he was sure that that was Hermione's doing. Ginny, on the other hand, seemed to be confused, for she was staring at their parents.

"Mum? Dad?" she asked.

Percy glanced over at the pair, his mouth falling open. His parents were giggling into each other's shoulders, their parchments showing that they were down to five points.

"Oh, don't look so scandalised, you lot. We were young once, too," his father said, eyes welling up with tears as he shook with laughter.

Percy glanced at Audrey, his ears, neck and cheeks burning. She was still smiling, though, her eyes crinkling up at the sides as she laughed at George miming throwing up.

"I'm sorry I asked," the boy said, though he looked anything but sorry. He looked around to hi-five someone, but Ginny, who was nearest him on the sofa, still looked faint.

"My turn," Ron said, his eyes glinting. "Never have I ever gone skinny dipping."

Hermione sighed, and Ginny turned a crimson that rivalled her hair. Percy avoided their gaze as he picked up his quill and crossed off a point. He and Audrey had gotten to know each other a little better during an office party, and although he knew he'd never live it down if George saw him cross it off, his red cheeks had already betrayed him. Glancing to the side, he saw that Audrey was also trying to hide her answer, her quill making the barest movement as she lowered her score.

When she saw him looking, she gave him a small wink. Percy's eyes sparkled as he reached for her hand. As embarrassing and wild as it was, he couldn't say he ever regretted swimming naked underneath the moonlight with her.

"Oi! I saw that, you two," George said.

Percy jumped, retracting his hand. Looking up, his frantic heart slowed down as he realised that George was actually focused on their parents again. They were staring into each other's eyes, another point crossed off their scoresheets.

"Oh, gross, not again!" Ginny said, refusing to look at either of them.

Charlie reached over the back of the couch and patted her shoulder. George wolf-whistled, causing Hermione to look away and comfort a suddenly green Ron.

Their father looked up and shrugged. "How do you think we got Bill?" he asked. When their mother, who now looked mortified, hit him again, he said, "I'm just kidding. Bill came along when—"

"Shhhh," their mother said, hitting him again. When all he did was chuckle, she huffed and looked around the room. "Perhaps we should call it a night. It's getting late."

"No! C'mon, I'm having too much fun," Charlie said. "Besides, apart from Percy, it looks like I might win."

Everyone turned to Percy, their faces drawing into amused smirks. Even Audrey was looking at him with her lips tilted up. If her hair wasn't brown, or her eyes hazel, he would've thought she was a Weasley herself. It made his heart flutter all over again.

"Surprise, surprise, perfect little Percy is winning," Ron said.

"Oh, he's not perfect," Audrey said, smiling at his little brother. "Did I mention that he _never_ puts the toilet seat down when he's done?"

Ginny and Hermione rolled their eyes at Percy, whilst Ron and Charlie looked at each other and shrugged.

"Well, you are certainly nothing like your father," his mother said, leaning back into the man. "I've trained him well."

Squirming in his seat, Percy lifted his parchment so none of them could see his points had gone down. "You're all ganging up on me. I can't help it that you're all so…"

"So...?" Ginny asked, an eyebrow raised.

"So… enthusiastic," he finished.

Ginny nodded. "I thought so." She stifled a yawn, however, prompting their mother to ask again whether it was time to call it a night.

"Where are you staying this evening?" she asked, turning to Audrey and him.

Percy cleared his throat. "I've booked a hotel up north for the next few nights, and the Ministry has provided a Portkey, so it won't take long."

"You're more than welcome to stay here. I've set up your bed just in case," she said.

Glancing at Audrey, Percy shook his head. "No, we're fine."

His mother smiled and looked around the room. "Alright, a few more questions, then it's time for bed," she said, standing up and stretching. "I'm going to fetch another tray of cookies, so please try to keep the questions appropriate whilst I'm gone, okay?"

"No promises," George said, saluting her as she walked out.

Audrey leaned into Percy. "I don't mind staying here if you want to," she whispered.

"We've got plans," he said, keeping his voice low as his mother returned with the promised treats.

It seemed to have awakened the lot of them, for no sooner did she place the tray on the coffee table, several hands grabbed at the biscuits.

"If you're sure," Audrey said, joining the fray to get a cookie before they all disappeared.

Percy leant forward and took one. Biting into the cookie, his mind wandered from its warm, crumbly texture to Audrey. His refusal to stay at the Burrow wasn't so much because he didn't want her to see his room. He was sure his mother had tidied it before their arrival, and most likely had stripped the walls of posters of his former childhood heroes, Miranda Goshawk, Bridget Wenlock and Nicholas Flamel. It was quite the opposite, really; the fact that she had wanted to stay, knowing who his family was and the state of the rest of the house, made him want to keep his plans even more.

With that thought, his heart skipped a beat and his stomach filled with butterflies, much like it used to before he sat an exam.

"Okay, I don't really want to lose this game. Not when Dad is so close," George said, grinning at their father. His eyes looked the man up and down, thinking, until they settled on his hands. "Never have I ever… proposed to someone."

A collective sigh of relief came from the room as everyone, save for his father, dropped their quills and parchment. Percy saw Ron flushing as he looked at Hermione, sure that the boy's face matched his own. Turning back to his parchment, his hand shook as he picked up his quill.

"Wait, Percy, didn't you hear the question? George said he's never proposed; I don't think he was counting that time he asked out McGonagall in the Great Hall in his first year," Charlie said. "You don't lose a point."

Percy ignored his brother and, trying to keep his hand steady, lowered his score to sixteen.

"Percy?"

Swallowing, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the box. He was aware that all eyes were now on him, and he quickly got down on one knee. The tiny, cramped family room certainly wasn't the spacious hotel restaurant he had planned, nor were his family the diners he thought would witness his question. Somehow, though, it felt right. The feeling only grew when he did manage to meet everyone's gaze, seeing not only his mother's eyes welling up with tears but Audrey's shining face.

Looking into her eyes, he opened the box.

"Aud—" His voice broke, and he quickly cleared it again. "Ahem, Audrey Weatherby, from the moment we met at work, I was sure you were the one. You were the epitome of class and grace, and the way you handled all the problems Twycross threw at us had me grinning like a fool. I knew you were perfect for me."

He paused, his voice having cracked again. From the corner of his eye, he could see his family still watching them, their faces covered in identical grins. He could've sworn George whispered, "Trust Percy to use big words," and that Charlie immediately elbowed him, but his attention was focused on Audrey. Tears were streaming down her face, and he quickly continued before his family could interrupt again and give her further cause to refuse.

"Ahem. But t-tonight, ahem, tonight when I saw you fitting in so well with my family, I knew for sure you were meant to be the next Weasley. I love you, Audrey. Will you marry me?"

His breath caught in his throat as the brunette stared at the ring, her mouth open. Percy knew it wasn't quite the large diamond solitaire she had probably dreamed of her entire life, but his budget had only allowed him to purchase a smaller version. When he finally got the promotion he was promised, he was certain he would buy her the ring she deserved.

Blinking back tears, Audrey looked around the room. Hermione offered her a tissue, but she shook her head. Reaching over, she picked up the quill and parchment she had dropped when he had proposed.

"I think it's my turn," she said, focusing on her parchment. "Never have I ever refused a proposal."

Percy's heart was now thumping in his chest as Audrey looked up at him. She cleared her throat and held her hand out.

Hazel eyes stared into blue as she smiled at him. "Never have I ever been happier in my entire life as I am now," she said. Then, sighing and giggling at the same time, she added, "That means yes. Yes, of course, I will marry you!"

Applause broke out around the room, but Percy didn't have time to feel embarrassed as he locked lips with Audrey. She had said yes; _she had said yes!_

"Oh, this calls for champagne!" his mother said when they finally broke apart.

Percy barely had enough time to put the ring on Audrey's finger as they were quickly enveloped in hugs and handshakes.

When Ginny and Hermione began to gush about dress styles and colour themes, and George started jabbering on about a wild buck's night, Percy leaned into Audrey.

"Are you positive you are ready to be a Weasley?" he asked.

Ginny began dragging Audrey over to the crooked bookshelf where she had apparently stashed Fleur's old bridal magazines. His fiance—the word caused a giddiness within him he never thought he'd possess—looked back at him and smiled.

"I think I already am," she called.

He returned her smile, knowing she was right.


End file.
